I'm confused.

I was born and raised in the lovely city of Las Vegas, Nevada.  Have you heard of it?  Well, if you haven't, let me fill you in on almost everything that you will ever need to know about Las Vegas.

Ahem.  Ahem.

It's hot.

That's about it. Oh, and there are things like gambling and casinos and schools and families and churches and cowboys and businesses, but let's be real here.  It's mostly just hot.

It's the oven-like type of heat, though.  You know the feeling of opening an oven to switch out another sheet of cookies and in that split-second when you are leaning forward when you open the door and you feel like your mascara is melting and your eyebrows just fell off?  That's what it's like when you open a front door in August.

However, I am glad that Vegas is just a dry heat.  I literally cannot handle humidity.  I DIE.  This past summer, it rained wayyyy more that normal and being outside was torture.  Give me all the heat, but without the side of moisture, please!

Not that I haven't experienced REAL humidity, though.  The summer that I was 15, I took a bus tour that went from Salt Lake City, Utah to New York City in 19 days.  Yup.  22 states in 19 days.  On a bus.  During said bus tour, (IN JULY) we stopped in Nauvoo.  Have you heard of Nauvoo?  Let me tell you about it.  It's HOT.  Not in the "wait-I-need-to-go-back-inside-to-find-my-eyebrows-that-just-fell-off" kind of hot, but the "I-just-opened-the-door-to-go-outside-and-I'm-already-dripping-in-sweat-and-will-never-be-dry-again-in-my-entire-life" kind of hot.

I saved a bunch on lotion.  It was great.

What's my point here?  I totally have one, I swear.

Well.  In all my time in the beautifully moist eastern side of the United States, I never got a single bug bite.  Not a single stinkin one.  I waded in rivers that I forgot the names of, stood by the banks of rivers at sunsets, hiked through a marsh, and just generally spent a LOT of time outdoors, but I never got a single bug bite.  Even wearing shorts for most of the time!  I got sunburned, yes. Sunburned badly? YES.  I literally turned into a redneck, but still no bug bites.

I thought that bugs just hated me, which I was totally fine with because I hated them too, but then something changed.

I go to school at BYU, which is in Utah... Utah is also a desert, although definitely a colder one! (Snow? What is this?)  Last night, I spent less than 2 hours outside for an FHE activity and go back to my apartment with what? Fond memories? Yes. New friends? Yes. But what? What else did I go home with??

EIGHT BUG BITES.

At least 8..  I have been finding more on my arms throughout the day!

What's the moral of this story?

Even if you can survive Illinois in July without getting any bug bites, be prepared for September in Provo because those suckers will come juuuuust for you.

Confusing? YES.

Proof of my redneckness and bug bitelessness 

(PS: notice how cloudy it looks? Still got buuurned.)

And another moral for you: if you wander Washington D.C. for an entire day, wear some sunscreen.

Just wear the dang sunscreen.